If you want better answers, start by asking better questions. As a coach, asking questions is an important part of my job. When I’m working with someone for the first time I start with some quick and easy ones like, “How long have you been climbing?”, “What are your goals?”, and “What do you enjoy about climbing?”.

As we get more comfortable, I bring the conversation around to what they believe their weaknesses are. For most, this is the easiest question they’ll answer. I get responses like, “How much time do you have?” or “Where do I even start?”. After several minutes of elaborating on everything they’re bad at, I flip that question around and ask what their strengths are. At this, many people go silent.

Not everyone loves to receive a compliment, and the thought of giving themselves one is even more uncomfortable. When this situation happens, as it often does, I ask one of my favorite questions: “Why aren’t you worse at climbing than you are?”

I love this question for two reasons: First, it’s hard for me to ask it with a straight face. It’s such a blunt question that I expect people to be offended by it. The opposite tends to happen, though. For people who are great at discussing their weaknesses as a climber, the reframing of “What are your strengths?” into “Why aren’t you worse at this?” creates a new lens for them to see themselves through.

If I ask you what your strengths are you might pause briefly before telling me something like, “I’m decent at technical climbing, I can do big moves as long as my feet don’t cut, and I’m alright at crimps.”

When I ask you why you aren’t worse at climbing than you are, it’s like I’m talking to an entirely different person. I get responses like:

“I keep showing up. I’ve never been naturally good at anything, but when I really want something I’m willing to be stubborn for it.”

“I watch other people around me and pay attention to what works for them and what doesn’t. I try to learn from everyone I’m around.”

“I know how to be honest with myself. If I’m falling because I’m not trying hard enough or because I’m intimidated by a fall, then I call myself out on it.”

“I have a background in playing sports. Putting in the work, day after day, is ingrained in me. I don’t do things perfectly, but consistency has never been a problem.”

Those are great answers. They are reminders that “strengths” means more than a list of physical attributes. Knowing your strengths and how you can leverage them is crucial part of long-term development.

If you struggle to answer the question “What are you good at?” try asking yourself “Why am I not worse at climbing?”. You might be surprised at what you find.